How to get a 100 million dollars from the Global Fund

08/06/08

How to get a 100 million dollars from the Global Fund

The Global Fund has announced an extra round of funding for 2008. Intimidated by the 68-pages of instructions? Don’t be. The Wisdom of Whores Automatic Proposal Generator (TM) is here to help. Just press the “Give me money!” button as often as you need to, and copy the phrases into your Global Fund proposal.

You don’t actually have to show that you’re preventing the spread of HIV, but don’t forget to include the affected, the infected, the public, the private, the faithful and the activist on your team. Don’t forget to use some of the money to pay for workshops; then you can use the same words to make up your cards for Bullshit Bingo!

Here are the “hot button” words The Wisdom of Whores has chosen for your profit. If you think there are any crucial ones that are missing, let me know and I’ll add them to the Generator. Remember, though, to tell me if they are nouns or verbs — in our verbose business you never can tell.

verbs	adjectives	nouns
align aggregate assess benchmark build cultivate deliver deploy disaggregate disintermediate drive embrace empower enable engage engineer enhance envision evaluate evolve expedite exploit extend facilitate generate grow harness harmonize implement innovate integrate iterate leverage mainstream maximize mesh mobilize monitor optimize orchestrate promote protect recontextualize repurpose revolutionize scale up seize strategize streamline synergize synthesize target transform transition triangulate unleash utilize visualize	authentic blue skies bottom-up child-centered civil-society led collaborative collegial community-based compelling constructive consultative cooperative country-led critical cross-cultural culturally appropriate discipline-based district-led dynamic efficient equitable evidence-based faith-based gender-sensitive global group-based hands-on high-level high-risk holistic impactful innovative integrated interactive interdisciplinary intuitive meaning-centered mission-critical multicultural multidisciplinary multisectoral objective open-ended outcome-based over-arching peer-led performance-based performance-driven person-centred proactive problem-based process-based public-private quality real-time real-world research-based revolutionary rights-based scaled-up shared site-based standards-based strategic sustainable synergistic thematic visionary woman-centred youth-friendly	accountability action plans action-items advocacy alignment applications articulation assessment business partnerships cohorts commitment communities competencies consensus content convergence coverage capacity-building curriculum decision-making dialogue diversity education enrichment experiences facilitators feminisation frameworks functionalities gender norms goals higher-order thinking human resources implementation indicators infrastructures initiatives instruction interfaces leadership learning methodologies models networks niches objectives outcomes ownership paradigms partnerships pedagogy problem-solving processes reccomendations relationships reproductive health sexual health solutions staff development stakeholders strategies styles synergies systems teaching technologies units vulnerability

I ripped the code for this fine tool off from Sciencegeek, who in turn ripped it off from Dack.com’s Web Economy BS Generator, Thanks, ladies and gentlemen, you’re doing great things for global health.

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This post was published on 08/06/08 in Money and AIDS, Pisani's picks.

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4 comments

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Tags: Add new tag, bullshit bingo, GFATM, Global Fund, Laughs, The Wisdom of Whores.

Pingback by Ottawa Citizen, 09/06/08, 07:29:

[…] can’t recommend Pisani’s blog highly enough. This recent post is one of my favourites: It randomly generates meaningless jargon in an attempt to get money. (Very […]
Comment by Aretha, 11/06/08, 04:12:

Absolutely brilliant.
Comment by Jill, 22/06/08, 02:29:

Sounds about right to me. Ms. Pisani you’ve got your finger right on the button, can’t you please just hit destroy?…LOL..
Comment by ted, 23/06/08, 05:25:

I’m going to empower bottom-up convergence and disintermediate shared teaching.

Comments are closed at this time.

The Wisdom of Whores

Of sex and science. Elizabeth Pisani's blog about HIV and other sundry things.

08/06/08