08/06/08

How to get a 100 million dollars from the Global Fund

The Global Fund has announced an extra round of funding for 2008. Intimidated by the 68-pages of instructions? Don’t be. The Wisdom of Whores Automatic Proposal Generator (TM) is here to help. Just press the “Give me money!” button as often as you need to, and copy the phrases into your Global Fund proposal.




You don’t actually have to show that you’re preventing the spread of HIV, but don’t forget to include the affected, the infected, the public, the private, the faithful and the activist on your team. Don’t forget to use some of the money to pay for workshops; then you can use the same words to make up your cards for Bullshit Bingo!

Here are the “hot button” words The Wisdom of Whores has chosen for your profit. If you think there are any crucial ones that are missing, let me know and I’ll add them to the Generator. Remember, though, to tell me if they are nouns or verbs — in our verbose business you never can tell.

verbs adjectives nouns


align
aggregate
assess
benchmark
build
cultivate
deliver
deploy
disaggregate
disintermediate
drive
embrace
empower
enable
engage
engineer
enhance
envision
evaluate
evolve
expedite
exploit
extend
facilitate
generate
grow
harness
harmonize
implement
innovate
integrate
iterate
leverage
mainstream
maximize
mesh
mobilize
monitor
optimize
orchestrate
promote
protect
recontextualize
repurpose
revolutionize
scale up
seize
strategize
streamline
synergize
synthesize
target
transform
transition
triangulate
unleash
utilize
visualize


authentic
blue skies
bottom-up
child-centered
civil-society led
collaborative
collegial
community-based
compelling
constructive
consultative
cooperative
country-led
critical
cross-cultural
culturally appropriate
discipline-based
district-led
dynamic
efficient
equitable
evidence-based
faith-based
gender-sensitive
global
group-based
hands-on
high-level
high-risk
holistic
impactful
innovative
integrated
interactive
interdisciplinary
intuitive
meaning-centered
mission-critical
multicultural
multidisciplinary
multisectoral
objective
open-ended
outcome-based
over-arching
peer-led
performance-based
performance-driven
person-centred
proactive
problem-based
process-based
public-private
quality
real-time
real-world
research-based
revolutionary
rights-based
scaled-up
shared
site-based
standards-based
strategic
sustainable
synergistic
thematic
visionary
woman-centred
youth-friendly


accountability
action plans
action-items
advocacy
alignment
applications
articulation
assessment
business partnerships
cohorts
commitment
communities
competencies
consensus
content
convergence
coverage
capacity-building
curriculum
decision-making
dialogue
diversity
education
enrichment
experiences
facilitators
feminisation
frameworks
functionalities
gender norms
goals
higher-order thinking
human resources
implementation
indicators
infrastructures
initiatives
instruction
interfaces
leadership
learning
methodologies
models
networks
niches
objectives
outcomes
ownership
paradigms
partnerships
pedagogy
problem-solving
processes
reccomendations

relationships
reproductive health
sexual health
solutions
staff development
stakeholders

strategies

styles

synergies
systems
teaching
technologies
units
vulnerability

I ripped the code for this fine tool off from Sciencegeek, who in turn ripped it off from Dack.com’s Web Economy BS Generator, Thanks, ladies and gentlemen, you’re doing great things for global health.

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This post was published on 08/06/08 in Money and AIDS, Pisani's picks.

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4 comments

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  1. Pingback by Ottawa Citizen, 09/06/08, 07:29:

    […] can’t recommend Pisani’s blog highly enough. This recent post is one of my favourites: It randomly generates meaningless jargon in an attempt to get money. (Very […]

  2. Comment by Aretha, 11/06/08, 04:12:

    Absolutely brilliant.

  3. Comment by Jill, 22/06/08, 02:29:

    Sounds about right to me. Ms. Pisani you’ve got your finger right on the button, can’t you please just hit destroy?…LOL..

  4. Comment by ted, 23/06/08, 05:25:

    I’m going to empower bottom-up convergence and disintermediate shared teaching.

Comments are closed at this time.