Do we really need research to demonstrate the blindingly obvious? Yes, if you believe that people who call the political shots will change their mind on the basis of a published study (something about which I am skeptical) So here we have it: research published in the International Journal of Impotence Research shows that guys over 40 are less likely to have droopy dicks if they are fit. I’d say that’s no surprise to the many millions who use the work “fit” as polite bar-room slang for “fuckable”.

As a result of this groundbreaking research, we can put numbers on things that even the smallest amount of participatory research might have taught us: guys who are flabby are over four times more likely to droop than those who are fit. What’s interesting to me about this research is the conclusion: “This study reinforces the concept that healthy habits have a direct effect on erectile function.” No mention, at least in the abstract, of the organ that affects sexual performance more than any other: the brain. If you’re flabby you’re more likely to feel generally droopy about yourself, less likely to be in a position where your erectile function even gets put to the test, and more likely to be anxious about it when you do get the chance to perform.

Here’s another research question: what’s the likelihood that research such as this will have people trading in their blue pills for gym passes? Or that the public health industry will ever change its incentive structure so that people stop getting rewarded for publishing “so what?” papers?

In The Heat of the Moment (pdf), scientists Dan Ariely and George Lowenstein asked collage boys to say what they would do to get laid. Would they buy a girl a nice dinner? Would they consider sleeping with a woman over 40 (!!) And what would they do to stay safe? Would they use a condom even if the girl might change her mind while they went to get one? (Please! Don’t they know what watch pockets are for?) Using a one-handed keypad the boys answered the on-screen questions twice. One time flaccid, another time “in a state of arousal”. Yes, the boys were paid US$ 10 to wank while they answered questions — the “arousal” round of questions was accompanied by on-screen porn.

No prizes for guessing the results. Men were more likely to want sex (even with a 40 year-old) when they were “aroused”. They were more likely to go further to get it when they were aroused (some would even lie to a woman that he loved her. Imagine!) And they were much more likely not to bother with a condom.

It’s a lovely, tongue in cheek piece of research. The authors conclude:

“In sum, the current study shows that sexual arousal influences people in profound ways. This should come as no surprise to most people who have personal experience with sexual arousal…At a practical level, our results suggest that efforts to promote safe, ethical sex should concentrate on preparing people to deal with the ‘‘heat of the moment’’ or to avoid it when it is likely to lead to self-destructive behavior. Efforts at self-control that involve raw willpower are likely to be ineffective…”

You can buy that most people have sex because they want to, or you can just say no.

Thanks to KH. And to the 77% of aroused men (and 58% of flacids) who said they would have sex with a 40 year-old.

Is Gates really a bully, or is the WHO just cross that it’s not the biggest boy in the playground any more?