Bullshit bingo of the day: Eljibiti

elizabeth — Sat, 30 Jan 2010 16:50:44 +0000

The other night, I was dining with someone who didn’t know their acronym from their elbow. I had to explain MSM (mice that have sex with mice; no, wait…) and had a special rant about LGBT. For the unitiated that’s Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender. It just trips off the tongue, doesn’t it? And it is just about as elegant conceptually as it is linguistically. Those groups don’t actually want to hang out together very often (except, perhaps, where they’re bidding for HIV funding). It’s a bit like forming a trade association for Doctors, Actors, Farmers and Tailors — DAFT.

Inspired by Indonesian petrol stations, which sell “Elpiji” (LPG, liquified petroleum gas), I’ve started writing this most annoying acronym as “Eljibiti”. But The Onion has done it better, in this hilarious spoof report on Gay Pride. LAGALABATATA — the Los Angeles Gay And Lesbian And Bisexual And Transvestite And Transgender Alliance. Like so much else in The Onion, it is so funny because it is so close to the truth.

Thanks to Roger for the smile.

How to get a 100 million dollars from the Global Fund

elizabeth — Sun, 08 Jun 2008 22:30:14 +0000

The Global Fund has announced an extra round of funding for 2008. Intimidated by the 68-pages of instructions? Don’t be. The Wisdom of Whores Automatic Proposal Generator (TM) is here to help. Just press the “Give me money!” button as often as you need to, and copy the phrases into your Global Fund proposal.

You don’t actually have to show that you’re preventing the spread of HIV, but don’t forget to include the affected, the infected, the public, the private, the faithful and the activist on your team. Don’t forget to use some of the money to pay for workshops; then you can use the same words to make up your cards for Bullshit Bingo!

Here are the “hot button” words The Wisdom of Whores has chosen for your profit. If you think there are any crucial ones that are missing, let me know and I’ll add them to the Generator. Remember, though, to tell me if they are nouns or verbs — in our verbose business you never can tell.

verbs	adjectives	nouns
align aggregate assess benchmark build cultivate deliver deploy disaggregate disintermediate drive embrace empower enable engage engineer enhance envision evaluate evolve expedite exploit extend facilitate generate grow harness harmonize implement innovate integrate iterate leverage mainstream maximize mesh mobilize monitor optimize orchestrate promote protect recontextualize repurpose revolutionize scale up seize strategize streamline synergize synthesize target transform transition triangulate unleash utilize visualize	authentic blue skies bottom-up child-centered civil-society led collaborative collegial community-based compelling constructive consultative cooperative country-led critical cross-cultural culturally appropriate discipline-based district-led dynamic efficient equitable evidence-based faith-based gender-sensitive global group-based hands-on high-level high-risk holistic impactful innovative integrated interactive interdisciplinary intuitive meaning-centered mission-critical multicultural multidisciplinary multisectoral objective open-ended outcome-based over-arching peer-led performance-based performance-driven person-centred proactive problem-based process-based public-private quality real-time real-world research-based revolutionary rights-based scaled-up shared site-based standards-based strategic sustainable synergistic thematic visionary woman-centred youth-friendly	accountability action plans action-items advocacy alignment applications articulation assessment business partnerships cohorts commitment communities competencies consensus content convergence coverage capacity-building curriculum decision-making dialogue diversity education enrichment experiences facilitators feminisation frameworks functionalities gender norms goals higher-order thinking human resources implementation indicators infrastructures initiatives instruction interfaces leadership learning methodologies models networks niches objectives outcomes ownership paradigms partnerships pedagogy problem-solving processes reccomendations relationships reproductive health sexual health solutions staff development stakeholders strategies styles synergies systems teaching technologies units vulnerability

I ripped the code for this fine tool off from Sciencegeek, who in turn ripped it off from Dack.com’s Web Economy BS Generator, Thanks, ladies and gentlemen, you’re doing great things for global health.

Talking of penises

elizabeth — Sat, 01 Dec 2007 12:26:39 +0000

While I was at the gender meeting in Nairobi mentioned in the article, some friends and I played “Bullshit Bingo” a game that passes the time in jargon-filled UN meetings. Here is my (not quite completed) bingo card. I wrote my own destruction into the bottom right hand corner. In a three day meeting about “gender” I was the only person who mentioned penises. (Click on the thumbnail to enlarge)

The Wisdom of Whores » bullshit bingo

Bullshit bingo of the day: Eljibiti

How to get a 100 million dollars from the Global Fund

Talking of penises