The Wisdom of Whores

In this season of giving, it’s important to be an equal-opportunities purveyor of cheer. So I give you the CIA’s latest ploy in Afghanistan: the spooks are swapping Viagra for intelligence.

They’re not just handing out these prescription meds to anyone, of course. That would be irresponsible. But they did note that one particularly uncoperative warlord of about 60 had four young wives, according to The Washington Post. What could a man in that position possibly need? The CIA knowingly proffered blue pills.

“The enticement worked. The officer, who described the encounter, returned four days later to an enthusiastic reception. The grinning chief offered up a bonanza of information about Taliban movements and supply routes — followed by a request for more pills….Aging village patriarchs were easily sold on the utility of a pill that could “put them back in an authoritative position,” the official said.

Sharp-eyed (and sour-faced) readers spotted the fact that this story was juxtaposed with another about the exploitation of women around the world, and they quickly joined the dots. Giving Viagra to men over 60 is, apparently, America’s way of “provid(ing) another method for these guys to oppress women and children in their own country”. Which is, yet again, to assume that none of the wives could possibly want to have sex with their husband. Ho hum. I’d rather share my friend Steve’s more seasonably charitable view of the story: Alhamdulillah!