24/12/08

Keep it up: Christians take sex to new heights (or grammar to new lows)

I’m not the first to observe that American evangelicals have been taking over the sex agenda. But you have to take your hat off to (Ir)Reverend Ed Young, who challenged his congregation to keep it up for a week. You have to take something off, at any rate. Perhaps the cap on the Viagra bottle?

“I’m going to challenge you to have sex with your spouse for seven straight days,” says Irrev. Ed. Seven straight days of sex with your spouse. It’s not seven days of straight sex with your spouse, so we’re allowed to go beyond vanilla, which is always nice. Nor is it sex for seven days with your straight spouse, so I’m guessing same-sex marrieds are allowed to take the challenge. But it does appear to be seven days without a break. I’m all for lots of sex, but seven straight days? What about those essential post-orgasmic pee breaks? What about a slap-up breakfast or an inter-course glass of wine? I think I’d need both by halfway through day 2.

Maybe the good pastor meant seven days in a row. In the same way that the abstinence fundamentalists probably meant to recommend 101 Fun Things to do INSTEAD of having sex, rather than BESIDES having sex. Or maybe evangelicals really are more adventurous that I thought.

By the way, I was watching Rev Ed strutting his pink stage (styled, it seems, by a Holy Trinity of ghosts: Elvis, Freddie Mercury and Elton John) courtesy of the Midwest Teen Sex Show. If you want to help them raise money to keep producing their fabulous sex videos and are still looking for last-minute christmas presents, the humping bull T-shirt comes in various shapes and sizes. Enough to wear a different one seven days in a row…

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This post was published on 24/12/08 in Good sex and bad.

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  1. Comment by David Hackney, 24/12/08, 08:04:

    Ironically, the pastor wasn’t able to meet his own challenge. He later admitted that his wife and him missed a day. Others said they made it through the full seven days but admitted there was at least one day where they had “oh no, not again” thoughts. A couple of months ago there was a woman who gave her husband a birthday gift of 365 days of sex. Of course, she meant sex with her. No definition on what she meant by sex. Was it always intercourse or some other activity? For both of them I hope they had variety. Except for couples in the “rainbows and unicorns” early stage of a relationship, I can’t imagine anyone wanting that much sex. I think it would become a chore. Still, it is good to have an evangelical talking positively about sex. The next step is to encourage every adult to have sex. Married, unmarried, same sex, and anyone else. Do you think goes who “shoot their load” are less likely to shoot their guns?

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