08/06/08

How to get a 100 million dollars from the Global Fund

The Global Fund has announced an extra round of funding for 2008. Intimidated by the 68-pages of instructions? Don’t be. The Wisdom of Whores Automatic Proposal Generator (TM) is here to help. Just press the “Give me money!” button as often as you need to, and copy the phrases into your Global Fund proposal.










  

You don’t actually have to show that you’re preventing the spread of HIV, but don’t forget to include the affected, the infected, the public, the private, the faithful and the activist on your team. Don’t forget to use some of the money to pay for workshops; then you can use the same words to make up your cards for Bullshit Bingo!

Here are the “hot button” words The Wisdom of Whores has chosen for your profit. If you think there are any crucial ones that are missing, let me know and I’ll add them to the Generator. Remember, though, to tell me if they are nouns or verbs — in our verbose business you never can tell.

verbs adjectives nouns


align

aggregate
assess
benchmark

build
cultivate
deliver
deploy
disaggregate
disintermediate

drive
embrace

empower
enable
engage
engineer

enhance
envision
evaluate
evolve
expedite
exploit

extend
facilitate
generate
grow
harness
harmonize

implement
innovate
integrate
iterate
leverage
mainstream

maximize
mesh
mobilize
monitor
optimize
orchestrate

promote
protect
recontextualize
repurpose
revolutionize
scale up

seize
strategize
streamline
synergize
synthesize
target

transform
transition
triangulate
unleash
utilize
visualize


authentic
blue skies
bottom-up
child-centered
civil-society led

collaborative
collegial
community-based
compelling
constructive
consultative

cooperative
country-led
critical
cross-cultural
culturally appropriate
discipline-based

district-led
dynamic
efficient
equitable
evidence-based
faith-based

gender-sensitive
global
group-based
hands-on
high-level
high-risk

holistic
impactful
innovative
integrated
interactive
interdisciplinary

intuitive
meaning-centered
mission-critical
multicultural
multidisciplinary
multisectoral

objective
open-ended
outcome-based
over-arching
peer-led
performance-based

performance-driven
person-centred
proactive
problem-based
process-based
public-private

quality
real-time
real-world
research-based
revolutionary

rights-based

scaled-up
shared
site-based
standards-based
strategic
sustainable

synergistic
thematic
visionary
woman-centred
youth-friendly


accountability
action plans
action-items
advocacy
alignment
applications

articulation
assessment

business partnerships
cohorts
commitment
communities

competencies
consensus
content
convergence
coverage
capacity-building

curriculum

decision-making

dialogue
diversity
education

enrichment

experiences
facilitators
feminisation

frameworks

functionalities
gender norms
goals

higher-order thinking
human resources
implementation

indicators

infrastructures
initiatives
instruction

interfaces
leadership
learning

methodologies

models

networks
niches
objectives

outcomes
ownership
paradigms

partnerships

pedagogy
problem-solving

processes
reccomendations

relationships
reproductive health

sexual health
solutions
staff development
stakeholders

strategies

styles

synergies

systems
teaching
technologies
units
vulnerability

I ripped the code for this fine tool off from Sciencegeek, who in turn ripped it off from Dack.com’s Web Economy BS Generator, Thanks, ladies and gentlemen, you’re doing great things for global health.

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This post was published on 08/06/08 in Money and AIDS, Pisani's picks.

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4 comments

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  1. Pingback by Ottawa Citizen, 09/06/08, 07:29:

    [...] can’t recommend Pisani’s blog highly enough. This recent post is one of my favourites: It randomly generates meaningless jargon in an attempt to get money. (Very [...]

  2. Comment by Aretha, 11/06/08, 04:12:

    Absolutely brilliant.

  3. Comment by Jill, 22/06/08, 02:29:

    Sounds about right to me. Ms. Pisani you’ve got your finger right on the button, can’t you please just hit destroy?…LOL..

  4. Comment by ted, 23/06/08, 05:25:

    I’m going to empower bottom-up convergence and disintermediate shared teaching.

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