Britain’s Office of Government Commerce says its mission is to “drive up standards and procurement”. To help in this dynamic task, they’ve got a new logo.
As I understand it, procurement is illegal in the UK, at least when it comes to procuring partners for pleasure. But if you turn the new logo on its side, you’ll find that OGC suggest that you can drive things up single handed.
If you want to pass this on to friends but don’t want to touch directly on the indelicate subject of masturbation, there are lots of other words you could use. Check out World Wide Wank for an automatic euphemism generator. I pressed the “Do Me” button three times and came up with:
Shakin’ hands with your carrot,
Strummin’ the wild hog,
Leakin’ the main drain